HOW TO FEEL CONFIDENT IN YOUR OWN SKIN
All our lives we seem to be bombarded with ‘experts’ and ‘style gurus’ telling us who’s the prettiest, best dressed, most successful etc. No wonder we judge ourselves harshly next to the ‘beautiful people’
The fact is though, being comfortable with yourself means not comparing yourself to others, and feeling OK with whatever choices you make in life. this can mean accepting the way you look when you see yourself in the mirror everyday. Accept the fact that you are perfectly imperfect and uniquely you.
Sometimes accepting that you’re perfectly imperfect is hard. Especially when we all seem to love judging ourselves next to others and come up second best.
Scroll down Facebook and see all your virtual ‘friends’ having lovely holidays in the Sun. All those smiling selfies and pictures of tanned legs, laying on the beach. it’s easy to feel like your life isn’t as good. (maybe you went away a few weeks earlier but still, your life isn’t good enough because these people are on the beach NOW)
• TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF
Of course it may sound obvious but good diet and exercise go a long way to helping you feel good about yourself. Good diet doesn’t mean ‘dieting’ which can often leave you feeling even more depressed, especially when you don’t hit your targets and feel famished for the whole week. Good diet means eating healthy, balanced, home cooked food and exercise can simply mean long walks with the dog.
Not sleeping, not eating right, not drinking enough water — it can all leave you feeling less than amazing and these are crucial steps on the road to feeling confident about yourself.
• DO THINGS THAT MAKE YOU FEEL HAPPY
it’s easy to get caught up i the routine of everyday life in an un-stimulating job and then going out to the pub with work colleagues when really all you want to do is go home and spend time with the cats. If that’s what makes you happy, then do it. Learn to say “no” to the things you don’t want to do.
• LEARN TO LOVE THE WAY YOU LOOK
Freckles? Love them. Curly hair that won’t stay straight? Love it. Pale Skin? Love it, like Nicole Kidman, right? The wrinkles of age? Embrace them, like Helen Mirren. I know it’s hard to learn to love the way you look but a Madison Bou Experience can really help with this. You’ll see images of yourself looking the very best you’ve ever looked. A true confidence builder if ever there was one.
On a quick side note – I spent 20 years broadcasting on the radio and for at least 10 years, I hated the way I sounded. Listen to a recording of your own voice and notice how it doesn’t sound like you. All your life you’ve been listening to your voice from inside your head. Not the way others hear you. It’s the same with looks… We only ever see ourselves from the mirror or from badly taken pictures. It never looks like the way we think we look. We don’t see ourselves the way other people see us. Eventually, I learned to accept my voice the way it was and eventually you can accept the way you look and be comfortable with it. That’s what we help you to do.
• STOP ALLOWING OTHERS TO JUDGE YOU
Stop being a people pleaser. You want to please others because you want them to see how wonderful you are. Instead, tell yourself how wonderful you are.
• FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT
Sometimes we need to push ourselves into uncomfortable situations so we can discover strengths we never knew we had. Applying for a new job, travelling somewhere different to last year, going on a first date, asking the boss for a pay rise… All this things can seem daunting to so many people. Booking a Glamorous, boudoir style photoshoot also comes under that category. Really though, after you’ve done any of these things, you’ll wonder why you didn’t do it sooner.
• BE KIND TO YOURSELF
Stop being so harsh on yourself. Everyone makes mistakes but those who are truly comfortable in their own skin will accept their mistakes much more easily. Don’t punish yourself when you make a mistake. learn from it. Try not to judge, just try not to do it again.
Be kind to yourself. Do nice things for yourself. Be compassionate when you make a mistake and say to yourself ‘it’s okay.’
Oh, and importantly, be gracious enough to let other people love you. (Try never to tell yourself you’re unlovable. Accept compliments. When we tell our clients as we photograph them that they look beautiful, take it as a compliment. We really do mean it)
• DON’T LISTEN TO THE MEDIA HYPE
Sometimes it’s not easy to be comfortable in your skin when you’re constantly surrounded by magazines that show images of what they think represents the “perfect human body”. It’s a lie. I wrote an article on this HERE explaining that even Victoria’s Secret models aren’t good enough for Victoria’s Secret.
Rather than trying to fit that type of image, learn to appreciate your own body, because you’re ‘perfectly imperfect‘ just the way you are.
• BE GRATEFUL
Sometimes it’s easy to take our ourselves for granted, even when we don’t mean to. Try to remember all the wonderful things you’ve already done and learn to be grateful for what you already have. Your kids, the joy you’ve given to your partner and family. Be grateful you’re alive and reading this article. This could be the first step to really being comfortable in your own skin. Something to be grateful for.