I spent 25 years on the radio and during that time I would regularly have to listen back to my shows with a critical ear so that I could learn to improve. For the first decade, I would be really insecure about everything. The way I sounded was nothing like the way I sounded in my head. Why did they employ me? I sounded like a hyperventilating gerbil!
Ten years being unhappy with the way I sounded and then, gradually, accepting my voice for what it is. (Everyone told me I had a perfect voice for radio. Not me. I thought they were just being nice. My voice obviously was nowhere near as good as all the other proper disc jockeys with amazing voices.)
Many of our clients have that same feeling of insecurity but not about their voice but the way they look. We see mirror images of ourselves everyday but the person we see is very different to the person everyone else sees. We rarely see our bodies as ‘perfect’
What is the Perfect Body ?
We’ve talked about the ‘perfect Body’ before. We’ve suggested that you stop worrying about chasing the ideal of the ‘perfect body’ and start embracing the fact that you are ‘perfectly imperfect’ (see article HERE )
You see, the perfect body is unattainable. Even Victoria’s Secrets models are heavily photoshopped (You can see ore of that HERE )
The ‘perfect body’ is in fact an oxymoron. A body is in fact ‘perfectly imperfect’. Every body unique, every body is beautiful (to our eyes at least)
Of course we all know there is huge pressure on women to look good, wear amazing clothes, fabulous make-up and hair and that pressure is intensified by the media’s permanent pursuit of perfection in order to sell brands. In fact the very nature of what we do at Madison Bou makes us part of all this. Yet there is a huge difference between ‘glamming up to feel good’ and letting the unattainable quest for perfection take over completely. You see the more we seek perfection, the more likely we are to fail. (Because there is no such thing as perfection)
We’ve seen so many people with mental health issues relating to their weight and so many cases of body dysmorphia to believe that this is just affecting a small number of people. Huge numbers of people believe they don’t measure up in some way. Thinking you’re ‘too fat’ is one of the most common issues and when clients come to us saying they have ‘mummy tummy’, ‘double chins’, or ‘fat knees’ then we know these issues are minor. The problem is when these little nagging insecurities start to impact more on your life and these little flaws start to affect your confidence and how you handle yourself in social situations. Sometimes body dysmorphia becomes extreme to the point that super thin clients think they’re far too ‘fat’ …. This is obviously much more dangerous. Body dysmorphia doesn’t have to be as obvious as this. More often it’s something so incredibly minor to everyone else but to the one affected it can consume every thought. A left earlobe that’s a little larger than the right, the eyes (Nothing specific…. just the ‘look’ of the eyes) the little button nose which is a super huge hooter to the owner of that hooter.
The vast majority of us have something we don’t like about our bodies. Me, it’s my balding hair, spreading belly and rapidly ageing face. So much so that I’d rather avoid mirrors so I don’t have to remind myself that i’m not 21 anymore. (I can see my son reminding me of my former glory and sometimes enjoy the private joke that one day, he too, will look like me )
Not looking at mirrors allows me to not face up to the reality of age and weight and al the things I feel insecure about. Yet, looking at mirrors and looking pictures of myself is what I have to do and i’ve had to learn to accept myself as I am. Warts and all. I’ve had to train myself to be kind to myself and accept who I am. What we think we look like inside our heads is one thing. What other people see us look like is quite another thing entirely. Having a supportive partner who doesn’t play on our insecurities (“You bum really does look fat in that”) can be really important to keep those insecurities from taking over. A Boudoir or glam photoshoot is another powerful form of self appreciation when done well by an experienced team. A good photographic team will bring out your positives and help train you in bing kind to yourself.
We see these insecurities every single day and we’e learned two things over the years that we try and tell our clients.
ONE : The most ‘traditionally’ attractive people who come to us are in fact the most insecure about their looks. Honestly this is true. The closer to the media idea of ‘perfection’ a person is, the more they seem to be unhappy with not being totally ‘perfect’ (It’s like ‘so close, but not close enough’ syndrome)
TWO: The people who accept who they are and embrace their curves (or lack of them) and who accept the process of ageing (we all get older) … These clients are very often more content with their lives and they often ooze a kind of sexiness which comes from being comfortable in their own skin. This ‘sexiness’ shows on camera far more than a more flawless body. It’s the kind of confidence that comes from within.
We spend a lot of time trying to help our clients see how beautiful they really are and build some inner confidence to the point that we want them to feel like they’re walking on air on the way home with a real smile. We’re getting better at helping clients feel good about themselves.
This is what a photoshoot experience can do and if you’d love to know more, sign up to our free email course below.